so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
