I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
Randomize