We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
try to milk me bitch
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