after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
3pm strippers are depressing
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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