If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
