is your mom at the bar?
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
