don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
