UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
