I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My ass is underappreciated
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
