i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
