so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Randomize
