I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
