Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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