he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
