Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
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