Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
