My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
