Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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