fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
