I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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