Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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