So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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