the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
There are leaves in my underwear?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
