What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
