I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
