If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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