I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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