We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
