If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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