Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
