So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
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