the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
