idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
