Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
