She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
