I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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