Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
