How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
