I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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