yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize