I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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