i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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