I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
