Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
