think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i think my mom watched the whole time
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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