Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
My legs feel like baby dolphins
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
