what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
You are a genius and a whore.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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