I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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