Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Randomize
