shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
