I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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