Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?�
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